21 Weeks

The most difficult part of Jonas being sick is the part where he is getting better. Maybe its like this for all parents, I don't know. Two weeks ago Jonas spiked a high fever which continued on for 4 days and was accompanied by a cough. He mostly slept and watched DVD's. Oh and of course he wanted mommy attached the entire time. I got some good rest but was beginning to worry about my lack of movement during those days. I had just had my H1N1 shot the week before and therefor was not fully immune against this influenza if this is indeed what Jonas had. I believe it was H1N1. I don't know how ANY parent can avoid all the coughing, snot and other bodily fluids being thrown in their direction during such an illness - mind you I didn't think too much of it while I took care of him during that week. Lots of love and snuggles, massage, teas, humidifier, juice, Tylenol, vitamins, cold cloths and some homeopathy and Jonas was better within the week. Once he felt better, however, is when things always seem to get tough. He wants to play and tires himself out quickly, he gets cranky. He doesn't eat dinner then wants snacks in bed at night. He is so freakin cranky! On again, off again. We see bits of our little boy and then out comes the psycho dragon.

I can even tell the all patient Jordan wears thin after all of this. As I write, he is still in Jonas's room, laying with him in bed and waiting for him to fall asleep. He's been in there for 1.5 hours with many ups and downs. Its tough. We took shifts tonight. I made dinner, Jordan did some art with Jonas to keep him busy, we sat down to eat, luckily we finished in time to deal with more meltdown which I dealt with for an hour while Jord went to our room and rested (he had a really hectic school day today and got off to a late start - more Jonas drama in the middle of the night and a major accidental sleep in for everyone!). Anyway Jord and I went back and forth a few times to give each other a break and then alas bedtime! phew. There's some honest parent rambling for you! Inspired by Reesh (in a good way!) because as we all know there are some great ups and some serious downs in the work of parenting. But, for me, the most fulfilling experience of my life so far.

These past 2 weeks have gone from having a slight baby bump to having a full on baby bump. All of a sudden I feel huge and I still have 19 weeks left! sheesh! Everything is stretching and I swear baby has had a growth spurt recently. I have gained 3 pounds in about 10 days, so in total I have gained maybe 7 or 8 lbs. It was like this for the last pregnancy as well - none to slow weight gain at the beginning and then much quicker halfway through. I never did write down any numbers and I wish I would have because its nice to know for future reference. I think this stuff can be passed down through genetics. My mom always gained 30 lbs with each pregnancy and her first baby (me) weighed 6 lbs 14 ounces and labour was a back labour - Same as me - Jonas weighed 6 lbs 14 ounces, I had a back labour and in the end I gained between 25 -28 lbs. Same as my mom.

On a side note, a prenatal client I recently had said that her mother had very quick and easy labours for all of her children. Her mom actually came to some of our meetings and talked a bit about her labours. I shared with them that I felt that her daughter would labour just as she had. And you know what? She did, exactly!

So if I have a daughter, I will share with her as much as possible about my own pregnancy and labor and about her grandmothers and I think she will appreciate this knowledge being passed down to her. Maybe it will help to empower her and really trust in her body and all that it can do!!!

I had my regular midwife appointment today which was, as always, really nice. Everything is great and baby measurement is slightly above average (fundal height) which is nothing to be concerned about.

I am making an effort to get back into the yoga now - I have a great Bikram yoga DVD for pregnant women that I really enjoy. I feel so great after I finnish the session and wonder why I don't do it every day. I have not gone back to swimming since the first few times in the first trimester. This is another activity that I will put more of a focus on this Dec. I am no longer as tired so I think its best that I get back to being active.

20 Weeks

There have been many times over these past weeks where I have wanted to blog about one thing or another. There is just too much to say in one post. Nothing at all life changing, just a whole lot of thoughts and ideas filtering through my mind.

I am now halfway through this pregnancy. It is going by so quick. Yesterday I finally felt like I had popped out and I am really beginning to notice the belly. I am also finally beginning to gain weight which I know from the last time around happens for me quite steadily from now until labour.

With this 'growth spurt' comes a lot of creative flow. Overall, I feel really good these days. I feel so ready for this new baby. It feels like I have been preparing myself for quite awhile for this baby. Jonas has become much more independent from me. He has self weaned himself to the point where he will go several days without breastfeeding and then perhaps talk about it and sometimes asks for a sip. I comply if its nap time or bed time but not usually any other time. Jordan has been putting him to bed now for the past 6 months and although it was tough at first, it has worked out for the best. Jonas has been sleeping right through the night since those early weeks of Jordan putting him to bed. Since then I almost feel like I am on vacation in a way. I am having a great break and really recharging for round number 2. Also, I am attending births and will do so until a month or two before I give birth myself. My goal is to either finish my childbirth education course or lactation counsellor course before I give birth. I plan to stay involved in the local birthing scene after baby is born, but more at a leisurely pace. I will do the mom at home thing again for another 18 months or so and then most likely I will be off to Midwifery school. I know, I know, plans don't always go accordingly, but I have always had a plan and a goal and although they may change and grow over time, its just how I am. I like to have a vision but I am also open to change.

As I mentioned earlier this seems to be the time in my pregnancy where I look for peace and tranquility in my life. It is the part of pregnancy that becomes most holy, where i feel so creative and also protective of all that touches me. I declutter my mind and attend to all the thoughts that do not serve me or my growing baby in a positive way. I dream, I read, I theorize and I release. Maybe its the time of pregnancy that my baby is most affected by my thoughts and surroundings and there is just no room for any garbage, so I feel this strong urge to get rid of it all. I do that and I move on. And as this happens I feel a stronger and stronger presence within me of my baby's entire being. Its consciousness, its personality. I feel it very strongly these days and I must say that I have a slight inkling that this baby could be female. And I have her name that keeps repeating to me. But to be on the safe side and since this baby will someday read this blog as a bound book, if you are a boy then that's just great!!! It doesn't really matter, but a small part of me says girl.

The last birth I was at really made me reconsider and rethink trying a hospital birth. I am still not entirely satisfied with the idea of having this baby at the hospital. The thought of having to guess when I have reached 4 or 5 cm (in order to be admitted to hospital), driving in a car in active labour, getting dilation checked in admitting and then heading to the L&D room to continue labouring sounds really unnatural and difficult. My last client felt like she was ready to head to the hospital and was told to go home after being checked in admitting - she was only 2 cm dilated and having incredible back labour. We drove back home together while we tried to help her feel comfortable in the car while she vomited and contracted all the way home. I got her as comfortable as possible at home where she quickly regained her rhythm and progressed very quickly. It was so quick in fact that she was feeling the urge to push within two hours and we had the midwife come asap where she announced that either she could go back to the hospital and go through the whole routine again or have the baby right there in the living room within half an hour. She didn't want to move and welcomed the idea of birthing right then and there. Of course the midwife had everything needed in case of an emergency with baby or mother. The birthing was absolutely beautiful and empowering.

Another common theme lately is some of the misinformation out there about the H1N1 vaccine. What particularly bothers me is when non supported ideas and opinions of this vaccine circulate and affect the decision making processes of the pregnant teen moms I work with. You should hear some of the info they have picked up around them! These teens are picking up bits and pieces of info online, friends, television and are really confused as to what to do. Yet when it comes down to it, there are some basic facts out there that they need to know and then begin their decision making process from there. These are facts that are evidence based. And I want these young pregnant women to know, bottom line, what the pros and cons of getting this vaccine are. How many women are in the hospital in their third trimester in respiratory distress and at risk of preterm labour and other complications vs proven life threatening side affects from the vaccine ingredients. Will the mercury (about the same amount as a can of tuna) give your child autism? Will this inactive vaccine get you sick with swine?? Well, its not live...

Once these women know the facts I really do support them in their decision making. They will feel confidence in their decision because they have taken responsibility and therefor some control in their life. I try to do the same if a woman wants an epidural (or any intervention in labour). I respect her decision as long as she has been given the facts - meaning what could happen if she gets the epidural vs not getting it. Facts that are not founded on opinion and creative ideas, but by the most current scientifically supported evidence.

When the adjuvant free vaccine came out a couple of weeks ago I got it. I was not prepared to take on the risks of getting H1N1 during this pregnancy. I am a strong believer in preventative, healthy living and I also see a Naturopath and in the past would see a Chinese doctor or Ayurvedic practitioner. I like natural most and have never had a flu vaccine. Didn't feel I needed one. But this time around I went for it. Jonas got sick a week ago with a fever for 5 days, chest cough and lethargy. Its been a week now and he is just coughing and sensitive and cranky. I am just glad I was able to give him all my time and energy over the week.

Now I am recharging and letting dad take over for the weekend. haha. I can hear them doing 'science experiments' in the kitchen.....