Anxiety

Although it wasn't mandatory, I encouraged Jordan to attend a Community Forest conference over the weekend. I arranged to have my parents come over from the Island for the weekend so that I could have some help. I know that as my hormones settle and I become more used to life with two small children, I will become better adapted. I knew I would be fine on my own, but I also knew that I would be better off with a little help.

I have a certain anxiety when I am alone with both kids for several hours - mainly around bedtime. Jordan had a ball tournament one weekend which was fine because I would go out for walks with Jonas and Karina and it was quite easy. But when its bedtime and you have a crying baby and a very tired and cranky 3 year old its a tough juggle struggle. Every time I have Karina almost asleep, Jonas will make a noise or ask if I am ready to put him to bed. I have only been through this a few times but I must say I felt anxiety. I almost feel better simply admitting to this weakness in myself because I know it will pass with time.

Of course its good to work hard and be the best you can be, but I also believe it is healthy to admit ones weaknesses and shortcomings. We are humans, not superheros. I am not supermom and never will be.

As anyone who has read ethnopediatrician, Meredith Small's book, 'Our Babies, Ourselves: How Biology and Culture Shape the Way We Parent', will see that we are one of the few cultures around the world where a mother and usually a father will single handedly raise their children. Alone. This way of child rearing has never really been a practice that I instinctively felt was entirely healthy for anyone involved. Could this be a contributing factor to the overwhelming amount of Post Partum Depression in our culture. I think it is a major one. Maybe it contributes to the isolation people will feel at different times in their lives. With so much importance and expectation placed on that of the 'family', especially in this culture, you are bound to be disappointed! We are a culture who has many, many definitions of family, which, in all honesty I am often confused about. It seems as if each person has their own definition of what a family looks like. Whether its the nuclear family or ones spiritual/church family, I think it all needs to be incorporated into a larger picture of family. Community perhaps? SSince this is still a blog written firstly for my children as a record, according to mom, of their early life with us - perhaps I will eventually write another post dedicated to our picture of family!

I read Our Babies Ourselves when Jonas was a baby. I enjoyed how it gave such a wide overview of infant care practices across the world and then presented in a clear and concise manner. Small notes that what may seem to be "normal" baby care for one culture seems quite strange, even shocking or disturbing, for another.It is not a parenting book, really, but it does give affirmation for making instinctual parenting choices. It is a great book for anyone who is interested in infant care in other cultures. It is also a good book for parents needing encouragement that what they are doing is best for their baby even when society says it's not (especially for issues such as co-sleeping and baby wearing.)